Two of my friends have the same birthday, and last year I got them a book
of "Pick Up Lines". It was rather funny.

So this year for their birthday, I got them a sequel: "Insults & Comebacks."
Some of the stuff in here is hilarious. So... I think I'll share it.

For people who are "Just Plain Stupid":

-'Most people live and learn. You just live.'

-'If brains were taxed, you'd get a rebate.'

For people who are "Lacking in Skills":

-'The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.'

-'Don't quit your day job.'

For people who are "Assholes and Bitches":

-'If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart.'

-'You're the reason why God created the middle finger.'

-'When you take Viagra, do you get taller?'

-'Your father should have pulled out.'

For people who are "Liars and Cheats":

-'You'd make a great politician.'

-'Calling you a dirty liar is an insult to dirty liars.'

-'You're as good as your word. And your vocabulary sucks.'

-'I can always tell when you're lying. Your lips move.'

For people who are "Sluts and Man-Whores":

-'Your body is like a temple: Open to everyone, day or night.'

-'You're so slutty, you buy condoms at Costco.'

-'Your knees haven't touched in a decade.'



Those are my favorite ones. And there's more of my favorite ones, but unfortunately, if I posted some, it may hurt other people's feelings. If you want to know some more though, I'd be glad to drop you a note.